~Muted-Mathmatics

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Journal Entry: Mon Nov 9, 2009, 10:44 AM

I have accepted my broken ways.
When i put the bottle to my lips or feel the pills on my teeth, I just smile because no matter what,
I'm still alive & i'm in love.

Last night, i drank to my capacity.
In my drunken state Ben drove me home
back into town, in my car.

He proceeded to carry me up to my room
& help me undress to my underwear.
After laying me down, he took my hands in his
and in a quiet whisper he proposed to me.

Its our own little secret.
And it means the world to me.

^{CSS Journal Coded by =FleX177}

No Comments

Mood: Bliss
Listening to: Manchester Orchestra. Dont Let Them See You Cry.

Skin by =FleX177

F a l l i n g I n L o v e.

Mon Oct 5, 2009, 4:08 PM

I think I've found the guy I am going to marry.

3 Comments

Mood: Sweet
Listening to: Why?

D r u g g e d.

Fri Sep 18, 2009, 5:49 PM

i'm falling again.
i can't keep on doing this time after time.
its not glamourous.
its hell.

however, its also comforting.
something you fall back into easily.

i'm missing the pills.
i'm scraping the bottom of bowls just to get high.
i drink every last drop of my alcohol.
and the scars on my ankles
are proof that i'm coming unglued.

i can't get things out of my mind
as easily as i used to.
only certain things keep me sane.
sleep is the only thing i find comforting
because its never been there for me before.

Ben doesn't deserve a girl in this state.

1 Comment

Mood: High
Listening to: Raveonettes.

A l c o h o l.

Thu Aug 27, 2009, 4:38 PM

NOTICE!

I have recently created a new deviantart
that I would really appriciate you all
to look at.

[link]

tell me good shit.

No Comments

Mood: Hurt
Listening to: Ben Hiatt.

L i f t.

Mon Aug 17, 2009, 8:55 AM

My legs are bleeding again.
&& my polaroid film is out.

No Comments

Mood: Defeated
Listening to: Ben Hiatt.

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Journal History

Nov 9, 2009 P e a c e.
Oct 5, 2009 F a l l i n g I n L o v e.
Sep 18, 2009 D r u g g e d.
Aug 27, 2009 A l c o h o l.
Aug 17, 2009 L i f t.
Aug 10, 2009 H o m e.
Jul 27, 2009 H o l i d a y & V o d k a.
Jul 25, 2009 C l e a n i n g.
Jul 21, 2009 Ben.
Jul 15, 2009 M i n d l e s s.
Jul 4, 2009 Y e s t e r d a y s.
Jun 18, 2009 S o o n.
Jun 2, 2009 M o m e n t s.
May 28, 2009 &%63#@
May 20, 2009 C o n t e n t ?
May 8, 2009 F U K $ .
Apr 27, 2009 F l a w l e s s.
Apr 26, 2009 M a l e s.
Apr 21, 2009 N e w DA & L o v e.
Apr 14, 2009 C o m p l e x.

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